


MIT Can (Not) Be Replaced

by Precari



Category: Academia (Anthropomorphic), r/a2c
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, bisexual harvard, guest appearances from certain colleges, little sexy but just brief mentions, please pardon my repressedness, r/a2c fanfics, r/a2c please read, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29155341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Precari/pseuds/Precari
Summary: It's Harvard and MIT's 2 year anniversary, but everything that unravels that day is certainly not what MIT planned...
Relationships: Harvard University/Massachusetts Institute of Technology (Anthropomorphic)
Kudos: 7





	MIT Can (Not) Be Replaced

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic was based on this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/ApplyingToCollege/comments/l64tly/im_holding_a_friendly_fanfic_contest_for_next/  
> I hope you find this shit both good and hilariously bad. I couldn’t have done this without senioritis and my anxiety about college debt. Enjoy!  
> Warning: this fanfiction is unfortunately not NSFW. My christian upbringing and fear of being found out by the wrong people have prude-d me into oblivion. Please tread carefully for other types of cringe. Please pardon any grammar and spelling errors this may have.

Mitchell “MIT” Lawson woke up to see snow ever so gently dusting the ground to resemble sugar toppings on fresh beignets. 

On other days, just glimpsing snowfall made MIT experience visceral fears of getting common cold chills, but this time it lit a childlike giddiness in him.

Today snow wasn’t just imminent slush; rather, it was the perfect, scientifically more romantic weather to start the perfect day.

Today was going to be the best 2-year anniversary celebration Harvard would ask for and more. He just had to be there by ten.

With this, MIT leaped out of bed, did his necessary self-care morning rituals, and carefully dressed up in his best sweater and jeans and put on his glasses. 

Just then, his humanoid assistant, Valkyrie, came in. “Glad to see you right on schedule! Cheetah is bringing you your usual bacon and eggs...now.”

_WoOf! WoOf!_

In response to the automated barking, Mitchell looked down to see the four-legged robot eagerly sprinted to him, food stored on the inside of his back. Cheetah did one backflip before lowering itself. When he opened Cheetah’s back, MIT grinned. Not a single particle of food displaced.

MIT unhooked his food and was about to eat when he realized that he forgot to turn on his glasses. He switched it on before being greeted with a swirling loading icon.

MIT groaned. He forgot about the updates he had to install into it.

He turned to Valkyrie, who smiled at him. 

“My glasses are being a bit slow to turn on. Would you tell me what the time is?”

Valkyrie’s eyes twinkled abnormally, even for a humanoid, as she replied, “It’s 9:55.”

Upon hearing this, he dumped everything of his breakfast into his mouth.

Great. He was going to be late for the first thing he had to do that day: be the first person to greet Harvard.

After managing to swallow his food choking, MIT glared at the humanoid.

“Why did you lie about being ‘right on schedule’!”

Valkyrie shrugged. _I definitely will have to make major adjustments to her emotional intelligence_ , MIT internally noted.

“You looked so cute sleeping like a human baby that I just didn’t have the heart to wake you up. Also you didn’t give me the gummy bears I asked for yesterday.”

“You do realize you can’t _eat_ gummy bears, right?”

“You still could have respected the sentiment!”

“Forget this! I got four minutes left!” 

MIT rinsed his mouth with mouthwash and almost practically bolted through the door before he stopped to get THE device. The teleportation device he worked on for months just for Harvard to travel the whole world in less than 24 hours. His TeleTravelNator.

Despite the stress he felt, MIT couldn’t help but sigh dreamily. Harvard had told MIT of his dream to travel on that one night, when just the two of them laying there on the soft grass na-

_Ping!_

His glasses finally loaded with the updated time. Oh shoot, now he had three minutes left. Curse his daydreaming!

MIT also remembered to get on his special Segway for snow and put it on superfast mode. Miraculously, he got to Harvard’s residency- a Victorian-styled mansion that charmed even the more minimalistically minded- at ten on the dot.

He sighed a breath of relief as he knocked on the front door.

Then 10:01 am came, and there was no Harvard.

_Strange_ thought MIT, _maybe Harvard went out for an early run._ Then MIT remembered that Harvard usually didn’t go out on a run on this weekday.

MIT eye-scrolled his glasses’ virtual interface to unlock its biofeedback mode. There, he focused beyond the door to get a notification that there was, indeed, a human body some distance from the door. MIT sighed.

10.01 am turned into 10.02 am turned into 10.03 am.

At this point, MIT was about to knock again when Harvard opened the door.

“Hey MIT, what’s up?”

MIT raised his eyebrows. Usually Harvard would be kissing him all over him, up to his neck at this point, but.... nothing.

Then MIT looked at Harvard from head to toe. He was dressed in his usual preppie look - in fact, it looked like he hadn’t showered and changed in days. His dark chocolate hair was all disheveled and ungelled, with his eyes with darker and darker circles underneath. Yet he stood with a semblance of dignity.

It kind of turned MIT on, who had started naturally forming the hypotenuse part in a 3-4-5 triangle in his pants, but MIT took a deep breath and tried to focus on the matter at hand.

Eventually Harvard spoke again. 

“My dear, I regret to inform you that I have fallen in love with someone else.”

Upon hearing these words, MIT stood in shock. Then he laughed in a higher pitch than normal.

“Harvard, you mustn’t be feeling well. Maybe you need to rest and count the thousands of statues in your likeness people send you every November.”

Harvard shook his head. “Mitchell, I’m serious.”

MIT froze. No one used his first name ever.

Harvard continued. “I’m in love with a _wonderful_ girl named Stanford. Of course she doesn’t know me yet, but I know her...”

MIT gasped as Harvard kept rambling on. Though his heart had simply stopped and exploded into smithereens from this confession, something nagged him and stopped his pity party. 

That name _Stanford_ sounded very familiar.

MIT scrolled in his glasses to open his database containing the names of everyone that ever lived and searched up _her_ name.

Nothing showed up.

MIT scrunched his eyebrows.

Why would Harvard obsess over a girl that didn’t exist?

Then it hit him.

“Harvard”, MIT began slowly, “I don’t think Stanford exists.”

“How dare you say that! I know she’s real-”

“She doesn’t exist-well, at least in our timeline.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning she could exist-just in an alternate universe.”

Harvard rubbed his chin before he looked into MIT’s eyes and brought out his infamous puppy eyes. “So, is there a way to, you know, visit her then?”

MIT frowned, looking at his gadget. “Well, disregarding the ethical and scientific implications and consequences, it should be theoretically possible.”

“So…”

MIT threw his arms up, exasperated. 

“Yeah, I should be able to make something by tomorrow that can do that.”

The more he thought about it, the more it seemed possible. His TeleTravelNator could already transport them anywhere on Earth. Now MIT just needed to make sure it could transport them to any place in any dimension. He had a good idea of how to determine the number of universes ever and collecting data on everyone in each one, and if he started now, he could finish in less than 24 hours, especially since the math was similar.

Harvard grinned. “That’s awesome.” He put his hand on MIT’s shoulder. “Thanks for understanding.”

MIT could only nod in response.

Harvard then snatched MIT’s teleportation device and began examining it. “What’s this?”

MIT snatched it back. “Uh, nothing. See tomorrow morning seven sharp.”

When MIT got home, Valkyrie was vacuuming his closet.

“You’re home early,” she chirped. “Aren’t you supposed to be doing it with Harvard 6900 times today compared to the usual 4200 times you do it daily?”

“Ha ha, Valkyrie. As much as I need to drastically change your personality, I don’t have the time today. Please prepare seventeen cups of instant ramen each hour.”

Valkyrie gasped, dropping her vacuum cleaner. “You’ve never asked for that much ramen before, even before finals.”

MIT sighed. “I...didn’t know that. How much ramen was it before?”

“It was sixteen cups of instant ramen each hour instead.”

“Ah, I see.”

MIT walked over and began to open his office door. 

“MIT?” Valkyrie asked.

“Yes?”

“Just what do you think you’re doing? You spent weeks pulling all-nighters. Harvard might have broken your heart, but you have to recognize that this won’t reignite Harvard’s feelings for you. I translate in memeguage so you can understand: you’re acting like a simp -no you ARE a simp right now.”

MIT sighed. He really hated it when Valkyrie was right in times like these - just like his previous therapist.

He was going to ignore her when Valkyrie said, “Just tell me: is he really that worth it?”

MIT looked at her deeply and nodded, feeling surer every second.

“He is.”

Although taken aback by this algorithmic disruption, Valkyrie eventually smiled back and replied, “Alright master. I’ll try my best to support you!”

And so MIT worked throughout the day and night band sawing and coding for his TeleTravelNator, with teleDigesters to safely help him eating his instant ramen/coffee/raffee and enjoy it all the while not disrupting his work and alarms to help him manage his microsecond naps.

At 6:50 in the morning, MIT pumped his fists upon seeing his program run without any errors.

“Finally,” he grumbled. Once haphazardly grabbing the TeleTravelNator, he rushed to meet Harvard.

Unlike the day before, Harvard stood before him in a much more cleaner state, wearing his regular blazer attire. MIT could have sworn his clothes were much shinier and that Harvard was even wearing makeup (nothing wrong with that of course, just made him all the more _breathtaking_ ).

Despite his frustration and exhaustion, MIT could feel his pants getting tighter in one area. 

MIT cursed his high libido. 

“You did it!” Harvard exclaimed. Then he scrunched his eyebrows. “So...what do we do now?”

MIT inhaled. “Basically, it’s like a genie in a bottle type of situation. All you have to do is tell it where you want to go or who you want to visit.”

“Awesome! Let’s try it!” Harvard grabbed the TeleTravelNator and shouted, “Take us to my fair maiden, Stanford.”

Before they knew it, Harvard and MIT felt a sudden rush-it was as if they rode the Intimidator 305 times a million before falling out of their seats. Harvard laughed at the unexpected thrill while MIT could do nothing but scream.

After what seemed like ten minutes (at least the time passed as estimated by MIT’s _very rough_ calculations), MIT and Harvard landed on a shore filled with palm trees and seemingly infinite amounts of cancerous sunshine rays. Being the Bostonian introvert he was, MIT cringed in pain. 

Harvard, however, took the cancer menace into stride. “This has to be California! It looks so much like it when I visited. It feels like it t-oh my. Look, MIT.”

MIT blinked. Harvard pointed at a blonde laying down on the sand.

As they got closer, it became more apparent that Stanford was sleeping. The blonde’s sharp jawline, long and luscious hair, and clear skin, however, also became more apparent. Her lips looked like they were dyed in pink tulips and then dyed in red roses. Her white rose crown made her more princess-like than ever. She seemed all the more untouchable and innocent, and yet all the more worldly and suave.

So this must be Stanford.

“She’s _gorgeous_ ,” Harvard whispered. MIT felt a pang of _something_.

 _Harvard never whispers,_ thought MIT, which was true-publically at least. Harvard’s part-time jobs as an accomplished doctor, an accomplished CEO, and an accomplished lawyer had indoctrinated him to never 

But alone with MIT on other occasions? All he wanted to do was whisper all the nasty things in the world to him.

He could also shout his ears off alone with MIT, but that was a different story.

Harvard came closer and then bent down. 

He tucked a strand of Stanford’s hair behind her ear. “She’s so lovely.” Harvard began to bend over to kiss her. 

And although MIT wanted to look away and vomit, something about Stanford’s sleeping expression wasn’t right. 

Just as Harvard was about to put his lips on Stanford, MIT yelled, “Stop!”

Harvard instantly pulled away. “What! Why?”

“She’s dead.”

MIT eyes rolled again through his glasses’ interface to snap a photo of her face and find the cause of death.

Eventually, MIT elaborated. “She was poisoned by cyanide.”

“How! Why would anyone poison such a lovely -”

_Pew!_

Harvard suddenly fainted, with a scarlet red tranquilizer dart piercing his back.

“There Hello MIT.” Upon hearing this, MIT grimaced.

 _UC Hichago_. Oh if there was a god, why did they allow UChicago to exist?

UC Hichagowas dressed in her usual red plaid skirt with fishnet leggings and a leather jacket. Her combat boots reached her knees, and her lips were as if they were tainted with wolf’s blood.

She held her tranquilizer gun while licking her lips.

“There Hello UC Hichago,” MIT replied coldly.

“You how are?”

MIT groaned. “Alright, can we stop this whole ‘speaking like Yoda’ thing? It was cute when I first met you, but now it just annoys the crap out of me.”

“MIT, _you_ were hella cute when I first met you, but you too annoy me.”

MIT rolled his eyes. “Glad the feeling’s mutual. Can you just tell me why you had to tranquilize my ex?”

“Well, my life went downhill when I saw UVA and VT making out at one of UCLA’s parties. And that party was my surprise-but-not-really birthday-but-not-really-birthday party! And they’ve been enemies since forever! I don’t understand it. Like, I thought UVA fundamentally understood that the jock and nerdy girl pairing is fundamentally toxic and that she was too good for VTbut she was just right for me. I don’t understand it at all!” 

MIT sighed. “Just get to the point.”

“Actually, this is the point.” MIT raised his eyebrows. UChicago continued.

“This is going to sound really funny, but, uh, I was, uh, pretty upset when I saw them together, so I might have, you know, fused their tongues together. Then I also saw you and Harvard going at it like crazy, but the fusing tongues thing was getting old, so I decided to instill the idea of Stanford in Harvard’s head and create fake memories in his head to make him feel the pain I did. Also to make _you_ feel pain while I watch. And then maybe poison the actual Stanford. But look, everyone’s fine! Well, besides Stanford, but everyone else is fine.”

UC Hichago stepped closer, caressing MIT’s face. “We are stronger from our pain. We could rule the world together with our genius minds, and we wouldn’t be lonely.”

MIT sighed. “How about no? I can’t work with the same person who tried to ruin my love life for such .” 

UC Hichago stepped back. “Well, ouch, but fair enough. Though you should take note that right now, I’m holding a nice, _thicc_ tranquilizer gun. No matter what you do, I’ll still end up shooting that gun. What happens after, however, you can change. Any last words?” 

MIT stepped closer. “Yeah, I do. UC Hichago, you need help. Not because you’re crazy, because you are and you already know that, but because you deserve better than acting this way. I don’t know how you managed to get to an alternate universe before me, but the fact that you did it is amazing. No matter how annoying you are, I can safely say that you have to stop caring about what people think about you, or otherwise, you decide killing people with cyanide is a good idea.”

UC Hichago grinned. “Nice last words.”

Then everything went black for MIT, and he dissolved into the darkness.

MIT woke up to see Harvard’s face.

“Hey, preppy-head.”

His heart nearly exploded in happiness

“Hey, nerd.”

MIT was about to snuggle into his pillow when a LED light went off in his head. “Wait, did I miss our 2-year anniversary?”

“So did I, but I can’t remember what happened. I’m sure you’ll be able to figure it out eventually.

I’m just happy you’re in my life. That’s worth celebrating every day of every year of every decade.

MIT really believed him.

They laid together all tangled up. MIT snuggled up to him, feeling as lovestruck as ever when he first met Harvard. It felt as if, no matter the alternate timelines and universes, nothing could ever replace this reality. 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I just finished writing this whole thing, and I just realized that this relationship may be pretty toxic, not going to lie. But hey, I’m a high school senior who can’t with the college admissions system and has never had a relationship. What can you do about that?  
> Please comment on constructive criticism. I mean, I like compliments as much as the next person. In fact, if you don’t have any constructive criticism to offer, you can just leave compliments. 
> 
> I’m just really proud that this is my longest piece and that I wrote this in less than a week.
> 
> Please don’t sue me. I literally mean this in good fun.


End file.
